Valentine's Vertigo
by ToxiNeena
Summary: Valentine's Day: the one day a year that every guy has to remember and do right or he will pay for it for the next 364 days.


**_Okay, this is my first YJ fanfic, and I just have to say that I LOVE Spitfire! Seriously, they're so friggin adorable together. Ahem, enough of me, just read!_  
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**_Rated T: for language and mildly suggestive themes on Wally's part._**

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**Valentine's Vertigo**

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Valentine's Day: the one day a year that every guy has to remember and do right or he will pay for it for the next 364 days.

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"So, Wally, what're we going to do today?"

In their kitchen, Artemis rocked back on her heels, practically bouncing with excitement. Her eyebrows arched expectantly and her eyes twinkled. Clasping her hands behind her butt, which was barely covered by one of Wally's T-shirts, she flicked her long, unkempt blonde hair over her shoulder with a smile that usually killed her boyfriend.

"Hm?" Wally was sitting in his chair, cramming his Saturday breakfast of eggs, waffles and bacon into his mouth. Really, the guy could eat enough for five people plus some. "Well," he chewed, thinking, as he eyed her long, tanned legs none to secretively, "just hang around, I think. When's the last time you and I just chilled together?"

"Oh..." Artemis's smile fell a fraction. Was that really all he wanted to do? Lounge around on a day like this? He didn't want to go see a movie or even go out for a special dinner? He just wanted to 'chill'? "Well, okay, that sounds fine."

She couldn't hide her crestfallen expression, or even her small pout.

Wally almost choked. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, _no_. He _knew_ that look. That was the 'I can't believe Wally just said that' look. Hastily, the twenty-year-old swallowed, forcing down the food that wasn't quite chewed all the way yet. He coughed. "Um," he started as Artemis began cleaning up her plate, "something wrong?"

_Please, please say no,_ he begged to himself.

"No," she sighed, "not really."

Which, of course, in the girl world, meant that there was something _very_ wrong.

Wally almost groaned. Girls were so unbelievably complicated sometimes, Artemis included, even though she was honestly the single most perfect, beautiful woman there was.

"No, really, babe. What's up?"

Pausing, Artemis fixed her long-time boyfriend with a stare and fingered the ends of her hair—he blinked back at her innocently. So, he really saw nothing wrong with 'chilling' today? Today, of all days? Not that there was anything wrong with 'chilling', Artemis loved spending time with Wally; she cherished any and every moment they got—being in college stole quite a bit of their time, after all. But today was supposed to be _special_. Well, actually, _more_ special than usual.

"Nothing, really, I promise." She smiled and reached across the table, grabbing Wally's empty plate before he could stock-pile it with mountains of food again.

"Hey—" he protested, bringing up a hand as if to stop her. But Wally let his hand fall and he pouted, glowering at his girlfriend. This was supposed to be his Saturday feast, dammit. Not that he didn't stuff himself every day, because, hey, he burned more calories on a daily basis than Michael Phelps did during Olympic training. But Saturday was the one of the only days where he could sit and _enjoy_ stuffing himself—usually, he was cramming bites in his mouth as he ran out the front door because he was late for Viet Lit.

Rolling her eyes, Artemis only placed his plate in the sink filled with soapy water. Really, Wally could be _such_ a kid sometimes. Even though he was practically a genius in the scientific field, he had the mentality of a toddler; mostly when it concerned food, romance, or video games.

"So," she eyed him over her shoulder as he slumped in his chair and eyed the leftover bacon with devilish intent, "anything you want to do in particular?"

Wally grabbed another handful of the bacon that had been calling his name, ignoring his girlfriend's disapproving scoff. He shrugged. "Don't know," he said truthfully, stuffing bacon in his mouth without hesitation, "what about you?"

"Well," she opened the dishwasher and began filling it with soapy plates and utensils, "there _is_ that movie that you know I want to watch…" Her tone trailed off suggestively. Honestly, she'd been wanting to watch that movie for weeks and it had just come out on the On Demand feature—she'd been trying to convince Wally to watch it with her for a few days now.

"Wait," Wally paused, frowning, "that chick-flick with _Ryan Reynolds?_"

He absolutely drew the line at Ryan Reynolds, that damn pretty boy. Seriously, what was so good about him? Okay, sure, so maybe he had the best abs, like, ever, but it was seriously annoying that every chick on the planet thought he was God; they all but worshiped the ground Ryan Reynolds walked on, even Artemis to some extent.

"It is _not_ a chick-flick!" Artemis defended, rearing on him incredulously with a haughty look. "And you're probably just _jealous_ of Ryan Reynolds."

"I am not jealous!" he protested, staring at her shapely hips as she sauntered over next to him. "Who'd be jealous of that Green Lantern wanna-be?"

"Hm, lemme think…there's this guy named Wallace West…" Artemis hummed playfully, snatching the plate of extra waffles before he had the chance to eat them all. Wally slumped further in his chair, glaring at the table. "Oh, stop pouting," she chided, throwing the plate in the fridge for safe keeping, "besides, a romantic comedy is perfect for today."

At this, Wally perked with curiosity. "And why is that?"

He watched his girlfriend suddenly freeze, joints and muscles stiffening and locking into place as she closed the door to the fridge slowly. Artemis half-turned, eyes wide. "Wally," she started slowly and articulately.

Oh, no. Wally gulped. He didn't like her tone—it was her 'you're in so much trouble if you answer this question wrong' tone.

"Do you know what today is?"

She turned to face him fully, hands propped on her hips, grey eyes boring into his green ones. He laughed nervously. Oh, boy, this _couldn't_ be good, whatever was going on. But damn, she looked sexy, being all mad, glaring and only wearing his T-shirt.

"Uh, the day of the hockey game?"

Obviously, by the look she was giving him, she didn't appreciate his sense of humor. No one ever did, dammit, it was so unfair.

"You _really_ don't know what today is?" She stalked over, leaning on the table with her palms bracing the edges. Really, Artemis could be quite intimidating when she wanted to be. The intimidation factor probably ran in the family-Jade and Sportsmaster had it down pat.

Wally scratched the back of his neck at the base of his hairline, enjoying how he could easily see down the front of the _very_ loose T-shirt she had borrowed from him. Was today important? Well, it was obviously an important day for Artemis, so something was supposed to be happening. But, what exactly?

She pushed herself away when he did nothing more than stare at her with an owlish look, glaring and huffing in a fit. "You're kidding me, right? You forgot? Again?"

Wait, again? He'd done this before? Damn. That meant she was _really_ going to be angry.

"I can't believe you. You forgot not once, not twice, not even three times, but _four!_ Four times, Wally! You promised you wouldn't forget this year." Artemis refused to look at him as she angrily stacked more dishes into the dishwasher.

Really, she fumed, how was it possible for him to forget the same thing four times in a row? _Four_. He was supposed to be _smart_, for heaven's sake! Didn't a normal functioning person, oh, maybe, _learn_ from their mistakes? Though, she supposed that Wally and herself weren't exactly normal people. But, whatever, the concept still applied.

"I've done this before?" Wally asked, watching her warily. When Artemis was angry, there was no telling what she'd do to him.

Once, when she had been on her period and he'd asked her to make cookies, she'd thrown him out of the house all afternoon and had refused to let him back inside until dawn the next morning. Lesson learned.

"_No_," she replied sarcastically, slamming the dishwasher shut and thumbing the 'start' button ferociously. "I'm going out," she said simply, beelining for their bedroom. Less than a minute later, she reemerged wearing black, spandex shorts and a belly-shirt that showed off more than Wally would have liked—he hated when other people, specifically other men, could see Artemis's stomach, just a pet peeve of his or jealousy on his part, he supposed.

She was tying her hair up into a high ponytail and heading for the front door when his brain processed that she was actually leaving and he finally blurted, "What? Where?"

Artemis shoved her foot inside a tennis shoe, doing up the laces tightly. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll remember if you ask me four times."

Oh. Well. She wasn't just mad, she was completely PO'ed. Wally flinched when his girlfriend slammed the door to their apartment shut.

Okay, so apparently he'd done something wrong. Though he didn't exactly know what. Maybe she was on her period again? Wally rubbed his clean-shaven chin with a sigh.

Yeah, women were a real puzzle sometimes.

With no other clue as to what to do next, or how to fix the mess he'd somehow made out of a perfect morning, his first instinct was to call someone, namely Dick. Wally reached into his pocket, fishing out his phone before speed-dialing number two—number one was Artemis, naturally.

"What?" an annoyed voice answered.

"Great, so you're all pissy too?"

The boy wonder grunted. "Well, yeah, considering you interrupted my workout. And who else did you tick off? Artemis?" he, the adoptive son of Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, muttered.

"Actually, yeah, Batboy. For some reason, she's mad at me. Like, _really_ mad."

"Considering it's you, I'm more surprised she hasn't left you yet."

"Hey!" Wally voiced, hurt by his friend's blatant accusation. "I'm a _good_ boyfriend, I'll have you know."

On the other end of the line, Dick scoffed, "Right, which explains why she's so mad at you."

"Whatever," Wally muttered, finally pushing himself out of his chair. He meandered over to the front door and put on his shoes, asking, "Wanna grab a pizza or something?"

Dick huffed, as if he was lifting something heavy—probably a weight. "Pizza? Now? Isn't this around time you and Artemis have brunch?"

"Yeah, but she stormed off in a hissy fit."

"Oh, so you're in some need of some bromance now?"

Wally crinkled his nose. "Gross, dude, I just wanted to grab a pizza."

"And ask for advise on how to fix whatever you've done wrong," the detective mused.

"Okay, fine, that too," Wally conceded, frowning at the floor.

Seriously, Artemis was going to drive him crazy. How was he supposed to fix this if he didn't even know what _this_ was? Why the hell had she been so upset? Frustrated, the red-head drilled his fingers into his scalp, scratching at it roughly as if he would somehow manage to dig the answers straight from his skull. He was a scientist, dammit, he specialized in chemical reactions. So how was it that Artemis' reactions had him baffled?

"Meet you at Luigi's?"

"Yeah." Wally clicked the end button and dashed out his front door.

The walk to Luigi's was achingly slow for the speedster, because, _hello_, Wally West didn't exactly like to _walk_ anywhere. He was so used to doing things in the blink of an eye, even in the apartment. Things like chores only took him five minutes at most—vacuuming, scrubbing the bathroom floor, dusting; he did it all in the time Artemis managed to finish polishing the wooden table in the kitchen, which of course annoyed her to no end. She'd tried plenty of times to put a ban on speeding during chores, namely by using one of her arrows to nail his favorite boxers to the joint mailboxes out on the front lawn. She'd made her point very clear that one Sunday.

Wally sighed. _Artemis_. His girlfriend of nearly five years. Hell, they were _living_ together, and no doubt, he and Artemis had definitely thought about, well, tying the knot at some point. He knew her better than anybody, and she knew him better than even himself. So why, oh, _why_, did he have not the slightest clue as to what was wrong?

"Yo, KF."

Wally perked at the voice, and then frowned. "You know I retired from The Team." He fixed Dick, now under the name Nightwing, with a perturbed stare.

"Yeah," the seventeen-year-old replied, smirking, "old habits die hard. Like your habit of forgetting."

"What? How the…" Wally floundered, mouth agape.

"How did I know? It's actually unbelievably obvious, Kid Idiot." Dick thumped his best friend on the shoulder before sitting in a chair on the outside deck of Luigi's.

Frowning, Wally joined him, crossing his arms. "What did I forget?" he demanded, staring down the teenager. "It's not her birthday, right?" He was almost positive her birthday was in the summer. But, as it went to show, he was likely to forget even the most important of things, so he couldn't be one hundred percent positive.

Of course, the protégée of Batman shrugged off the look with ease and chuckled, waving his index finger back and forth. He clicked his tongue. "No, I'll tell you now it's not her birthday. There's hints all around, though. We're in the center of town; you should be able to pick up a clue or two."

"Listen," Wally leaned forward, glaring, "I'm not a genius detective, hell, I'm not even that much of a genius apparently."

If he really were a genius, he'd know exactly what he'd done to upset his girlfriend.

"Trust me," Dick also leaned forward, "it's impossible to _not_ notice." As if to help, he jerked his head to the left in the direction of a young couple who sat just a table away from them.

Wally stared at the pair—the man was holding the girl's hand, stroking it lovingly with his thumb, which caused her to smile. Then, after exchanging a few words, the two lurched across the table for a quick kiss. They sat back down, still connected by their hands, and the girl giggled as her free hands rested on a small, shapely box.

Wally let his eyebrow rise. He turned back to Dick, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Yeah, and?" the red-head asked.

Dick palmed his face and then pinched his nose. Obviously, Wally had completely missed whatever hint the detective was trying to give.

"Man, you're dense," Dick mused, chuckling, "no wonder Arty got mad at you."

"Hey, watch it, kid," Wally warned, glowering.

Just then, a waitress approached, smiling happily, folding her serving tray under her arm. "Hello, welcome to Luigi's!" Her smile all but sparkled. "Can I interest you in our Valentine's Day special?"

And then, Wally felt his legs fall asleep from shock—faintly, he realized Dick was leering triumphantly. Oh. Oh, oh, _oh_. God, he was _such_ an _idiot_. No _wonder_ Artemis had been so upset! He _had_ forgotten for the fourth year in a row! _Valentine's_ _Day! _Wally smacked his head on the table, groaning loudly, and ultimately startling the waitress.

She jumped, looking down at the young man strangely with wide eyes.

Wally groaned again, banging a fist this time.

"Miss," Dick interrupted, catching the stunned waitress's attention, "we'll have two large, plain cheese pizzas. No drinks."

The waitress murmured an "okay, then," and headed back inside the restaurant, still staring at Wally strangely.

Dick whirled on Wally, smirking even wider. "Understand now, Kid Dorkus?"

The only reply Dick received was an, "I'm _such_ an idiot."

"Yeah, you kinda are."

Wally threw his head back up, almost giving himself whiplash—if speedsters could even _get_ whiplash in the first place—and glared. "You don't need to agree with me, you know."

"I know." Dick grinned. He fixed his clueless friend with a knowing stare and said, "Listen, just go back home, apologize, and then do what you guys…uh…do to make up." He stumbled awkwardly, his face remaining neutral. Wally knew that Dick wasn't as innocent as he seemed—he had being raised by Batman to thank for that—but he also knew that the boy wonder considered Artemis as his older sister of sorts. And younger brothers had better things to do than converse about their sister's bedroom activities. But...Wally just couldn't resist.

"You mean make-up sex?" he clarified unabashedly.

Dick squirmed in his chair, his mouth twisting into a half-revolted frown, much to Wally's enjoyment, before muttering, "Yeah, uh, _that_." He cleared his throat, pulling on the collar of his shirt. "Anyway, go out and buy her movies with Ryan Reynolds in them, get her some jewelry too."

"Wait a second," Wally's eyes narrowed, "am I really going to take advice from _you_, the kid without a girlfriend?"

Dick's blue eyes sparked with amusement. "Yes, because unlike you, I understand girls."

"Meaning, you creep on them."

Dick held up his hands, smiling, "No harm, no foul."

"That's kinda sick, man."

"Oh, admit it, you've always wanted to spy on Artemis too."

Wally pursed his lips, seeming to think hard about this. He didn't deny it.

"Here you are; two large pizzas, only cheese." The waitress skipped over, glancing at Wally out of the corner of her eye, before setting the two boxes down.

"Thanks." Wally grinned, and reached to swipe a slice.

Dick, however, stopped the speedster with a slap to the hand. "Thank you." Dick smiled, showing his perfectly white teeth and causing the waitress to go red in the face, before he handed her two twenty dollar bills and told her to keep the change. The smitten girl giggled before running off, still blushing twenty shades of red.

Wally scoffed. Dick Grayson was too charismatic for his own good.

"Now," the playboy-in-training rounded on Wally again, "take the pizzas," he tapped the top of the first box, "go to the jewelry store," he pointed across the street to the Kay Jewelers outlet, "and pick up those movies," he jerked his thumb behind him in the direction of the video store. "Go!" he urged. "And, by the way, you _so totally_ owe me for this."

Wally only scoffed.

Less than an hour later—as he couldn't bear to _not_ use his power when people weren't looking—Wally West was opening the door to his and Artemis's apartment, juggling the pizza, the movies and the Kay Jewelers bag. He was met with silence. If Artemis was here, she certainly didn't care if he knew or not.

"Arty?" he called, using the pet name he knew she loathed.

When he received no answer, he used his foot to close the front door and shifted everything in his arms, trying to make sure nothing fell. Then, he made his way to the bedroom, hearing the TV from down the hall. Quietly, he opened the door, stuck his head through the crack, and peered at his girlfriend, curled up on their bed, eating ice cream straight from the container and watching a movie.

"Arty," he said, his tone apologetic.

"I thought I told you that I don't like that name," she muttered, jabbing her spoon back into the ice cream box and digging out a scoop much too big for her mouth. By her body language, it seemed she was mad enough to go digging for the bow at the bottom of their closet and shoot him with it—multiple times too.

"Artemis," Wally sighed, opening the door fully.

"Yes?" She glanced at him, finally, and her stormy eyes zeroed in on the packages he held. "Wally, what are those?"

"My apologies for being an idiot?" he held out the items sheepishly, giving her the lopsided grin she usually couldn't resist.

Artemis crossed her arms, shrugging off his adorable smile. "So…you're hoping to make up for the fact that you're an idiot by bringing me stuff." Her tone was disapproving and her eyes narrowed.

"Dammit, Dick," Wally cursed under his breath. That little twerp had been _so_ sure about this whole present thing.

"What was that?" Artemis clipped irately.

"Nothing," her boyfriend assured her hastily, "nothing, babe."

Then, silence between the two settled in—her ignoring him, keeping her eyes glued to the TV, and him eyeing her, waiting for some sort of signal. He never got one.

"Okay, look," he started, shuffling over and putting the pizza boxes on the floor by the edge of their bed, "I was an idiot, okay? I promised that I wouldn't forget this year…and I did."

Artemis huffed, wedging out another scoop of ice cream.

"But I'm trying to fix this," Wally sat down on the edge of the bed, dropping the packages by her legs and caressing her hand lightly, "and you know I'm not good at this whole apologizing thing." He gripped her hand a little more tightly now, threading their fingers together. "So, I'm just going to be blunt, and say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I forgot about Valentine's Day, Artemis."

The blonde paused, lowering her spoon, and let her gaze flicker to their joined hands, the pizza boxes and the two other bags he had dropped on the bed. She immediately recognized a Kay Jewelers bag and gulped. "…What's that?" she used her spoon to nonchalantly point at the jewelry bag.

"Oh," Wally breathed, thankful that she hadn't blatantly turned down his apology. "I felt really bad for, you know, forgetting for four years in a row…so I thought I should get you something extra special." Dropping her hand, he reached into the bag and pulled out a small, velvety box. "Open it." He handed it to her.

Hesitantly, Artemis took the little box into her hands and pressed mute on the remote. When she pried open the lid, she felt a small gasp escape from her chest in a whoosh. It was a sparkling diamond necklace, and damn if she knew, it was the one called 'Love's Embrace'. "Oh…" Her voice choked off as she fingered the precious gift. "Wally…"

"Wait, there's more." He felt the weight of his guilt lifting when she seemed extremely touched by his small present. And then he pulled out a movie entitled, 'The Proposal', which, of course, starred Ryan Reynolds.

"But," she gaped, taking the movie, "you _hate_ Ryan Reynolds. You swore you would never buy one of his movies, _ever_."

The red-head shrugged. "Well, I made an exception. After all, I forgot Valentine's Day for four consecutive years, I think I deserve worse punishment than having to buy a Ryan Reynolds movie."

Artemis chewed her lip, appearing to be torn. She was supposed to be _angry_ with him! But…he looked so sweet, apologizing, buying her romantic movies and even jewelry. And how could she resist that special lopsided grin he liked to wear?

"Artemis, I'm really sorry." Wally paused, waiting for any sort of reaction. But she only sat there, fingering her new necklace, still in its box, and staring at her movie. He coughed, pulling on his collar nervously. Was he forgiven or not? He couldn't tell by the way she was acting.

"_Great_," his girlfriend muttered sourly.

Wally felt lead sink in his stomach. So he wasn't forgiven. Alright, he supposed it was reasonable. After all, most guys would have been dumped if they had forgotten Valentine's Day, the single most romantic day of the year, _four_ _times_.

"Now I feel bad."

Stunned, Wally could only blink rapidly and murmur, "What?"

"After I went out for a jog to clear my head, I thought things over. And, well, I over reacted this morning. I was planning to apologize to you, but," she sighed, weighing the Kay Jewelers box in her hands, "it looks like you beat me to it. And now I feel awful." Artemis reached across the bed and snagged Wally's hand. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

Wally blinked again.

Well.

This certainly wasn't how he thought it would play out.

He'd been prepared to be yelled at or thrown out even. But, here Artemis was apologizing to him? He was the one who had forgotten Valentine's Day. For the fourth time too! It didn't make sense.

"Wait, wait a second," he stammered, unsure as to what he should do. "Why are _you_ apologizing?"

Artemis frowned slightly, her eyebrows drawing down. "Because I over reacted this morning."

"But I forgot Valentine's Day!"

"Yeah, and? You've forgotten the past three years too."

"Exactly, which is why _I_ should be apologizing."

"So…you're saying that I can't apologize?"

"Well, yeah."

"Wally," Artemis snipped, "I can apologize if I want to."

"Wait, are we…are we really fighting over who should apologize?" Wally asked, beginning to smile goofily.

Artemis stopped, pursed her lips, and then chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So…am I forgiven?"

"Depends, am I?"

Wally smirked, pulling Artemis closer to his body. He was pleased to see that she had changed back into one of his T-shirts again. "Babe, there's nothing to forgive." And then, he kissed her.

She grinned into the kiss, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and straddling his hips and thighs in a very compromising position. Wally grunted in appreciation as his hands found themselves on her lower back and hip. But, too soon for his taste, Artemis tore away from him, bracing her hands on his chest. She leaned back to gaze at his face, and then she plunged forward to plant a sudden kiss on his nose. He wrinkled it.

"So," she nodded toward the movie lying on the bed, "movie night?"

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